Childbirth, kid style

Ned and Jeri

July 31, 1974

 The kids put on a l-o-n-g (boring) play this afternoon--twice. Once for me (though I walked out at the end because they had begun to bicker, whine and cry and I told them I could hear that anytime and if they weren't going to entertain me, I wanted no part of their play), and once for Walt. The play, though dull and slow-moving, had some high points. Jeri gives birth in this "R" rated play. She stuck a doll under her shirt and came in to Ned, the doctor, saying "Oh doctor, I don't feel well. I just don't know what's the matter with me." Ned runs his hands over the limbs of the doll and says, "I'm not sure, but I think you're pregnant. You'd better get into bed."

 From there we move on into delivery, with Ned at her head, stroking her forehead and saying, "come on now, push harder," while Jeri pushes and moans a bit. (In the second version, Ned stopped labor to get a plastic bag to put the doll in so it could be born in its "sack of water"). The baby was finally born with Ned going into ecstacy because it was a girl. In the first seconds after delivery, Jeri was brought a doll dress, a bottle, and a spoon.

 Earlier in the play, the kids had been shopping in a store and bought medicine (an empty pectin bottle), wine (an empty coke bottle), and various other things. All through Jeri's labor, David was standing in a box (I think it was their car) with the empty coke bottle tilted up into his mouth pretending to drink it and explaining to walt, "I sick. I drink wine."


 March 31, 1975

 Tom and I had a lot of talk about babies yesterday. He started by examining his belly button with great interest and asking me where the hole that the baby comes from is. I told him it was "down by where I go peep." He thought about that for awhile and then asked, "You mean the first time you go peep a baby comes?" I explained the difference. Then he asked, "Did I cry when I came out?" (we had earlier discussed the fact that the baby doesn't splash into the potty, but that the doctor catches him). I told him that he did cry and went on to explain the reason why babies cry when they are born--to get air into their lungs. He thought about that for awhile and then reasoned, "you mean that if they want to grow up and blow balloons they have to cry when they are born?" Later he asked what would happen if they DIDN'T want to blow up balloons and didn't cry when they were born. I told him that they might die, and he decided he was glad he had cried when he was born.

  • Not Ready for Prime Time
  • The Restaurant 
  • Juice
  • Star Trek and Us
  • Childbirth, Kid Style
  • How I Didn't Do It